January 2021 – Permission to Love

Letters to God

Posted on January 18, 2021January 16, 2021 by aliciaqb

I know that many of us deeply long to talk to our Heavenly Father. I long to know who He is and what He wants me to know. I long to feel His love and to become like Him. So often, when I start to study or read my scriptures, it doesn’t go the way I imagine and the way I desire. I often come to my sacred time distracted and unable to focus. It can be hard to transition your heart and mind from the cares and the desires of the world to a peaceful, quiet place of worship. Over much effort and practice, I have found that I can more easily make that transition without distraction by doing two things: Praying out loud and writing the thought and feelings that I want to communicate to God.

It all started with a class I took called Heaven Journaling and a challenge given by Sister Wendy Nelson in a Youth Worldwide devotional in 2016. Here’s her challenge:

Would you be willing to try an experiment for 30 days? Daily kneel and thank your Heavenly Father for the scriptures. Tell Him the one question you most need to have answered that day. Plead to have the Holy Ghost with you as you read. Then open your scriptures anywhere and read until you find the answer. Try it for 30 days and see what happens.
Wendy Nelson

Another Quote that inspired me at that same time was this:

Write down in a secure place the important things you learn from the Spirit. You will find that as you write down precious impressions, often more will come. Also, the knowledge you gain will be available throughout your life.” Elder Richard G. Scott

I have always been a journal writer, but instead of a rundown of the day, I started to write “Dear Father” letters. I literally start writing a letter to thank Him, to tell Him what is going on, to tell Him what I am learning. Here I ask the tough questions and search for the answers. I write down scriptures that I have read that are the answers to my questions. I glue in pictures that inspire me of the Savior or quoted scripture. I write questions and if I haven’t found the answer I leave that section blank until I discover the answer. I have gone back and labeled the tops of the pages with titles like, “Re-read When You’re Afraid,” “What to do When You Need to Work on Your Relationship with Your Husband.” I am now starting to have a collection of journals that I consider to me my life manuals as I refer back to the answers God has given me and find myself needing those answers over and over again.

I find that so often God has been trying to speak to me all day, but I haven’t stopped and gathered all that he is saying into my heart and mind. This is a conversation that can last days. I speak to Him, He speaks to me. I don’t get distracted if I am writing. Then I know just what to pray about and what to ask. And I don’t get distracted if I pray out loud.

I don’t always pray and look for answers in this way. Sometimes just a simple prayer said in my heart and mind is needed and the writing process can be too cumbersome for the moment, but when I switch up the ways we are communicating with our Father, he can reach out to me in different ways.

This process has deepened my relationship with God. In this way, I have found that I can have a very real, living relationship with my Heavenly Father.

See People As People

Posted on January 16, 2021 by jenqw

Several years ago I took a course from The Arbinger Institute. You may be familiar with some of their books, Leadership and Self-Deception, Bonds That Make Us Free, The Anatomy of Peace, etc. One important concept that really stuck with me is to see people as people. On the surface this seems very simple, but in truth, it can be difficult. For instance, if you’ve ever been cut off on the freeway, what might go through your mind? That jerk! Why can’t people pay attention? What were they thinking? They almost killed me! What about when you are in line at the grocery store and the person in front of you is taking their time, talking to the clerk, is having difficulty counting their money? Are you thinking, I’m in a hurry! Can’t they have that ready before hand? Why does this take so long? If those types of thoughts are going through your head and maybe even spilling out of your mouth, you are not seeing a person as a person. Instead, they are an object or de-humanized in your mind. To bring them back as a person, you have to change what you are thinking when unexpected things happen. Maybe that person who cut you off has an emergency. Maybe they are a newer driver or an older one. It’s possible they just didn’t see you. Possibly the person in line is lonely and needs to talk. They might be older and having some difficulty.

We are part of a great war between good and evil that began even before we came to this earth. At this time, the adversary is showing himself in all of his evil glory. When this adversary can convince us that God-given characteristics, differences, agency, constitutional rights, etc. mean nothing, he has us. Dehumanization has become so much more common and more noticeable in recent history. All you have to do is read the comments in social media feeds and you can see many examples of this. People tend to say exactly what is on their mind because they feel somewhat anonymous and often what is on their mind isn’t kind. They cannot see that their is a human being at the other end of their comments. We have fact-checkers and cancelling that shut off the point of view of a large number of people. Cyber bullying is rampant. Masking and social distancing have stifled human contact and connection. There are also many terms or actions that are extremely dehumanizing. Some that I will share were not meant to do this, but have become so commonplace that we tend to no longer have feelings toward them or they have been used so incorrectly that they have lost meaning. Here are several: human/sex trafficking, pornography, non-gender specific, abortion, liberals, conservatives, white privilege, racist, cancel culture, common good, and many more. Behind each phrase, action, word, is a wonderful human being. Characteristics such as race, gender, differences of thought and opinion were not meant to be cancelled from our collective culture but to be celebrated and used to gain understanding.

Have you ever had the experience of talking with a complete stranger, and after several minutes you find that you have at least one thing in common with them? Often it is someone that on the surface, you would not expect this to be the case. Many times I have learned that a stranger and I have a mutual friend, similar dreams and fears, or even a hobby in common. This is the power of love and connection – no matter who we are, where we come from, our background, religion, etc. we can find something to love about any other human being. Each person is something to someone. At the very least, we have a Father in Heaven that loves us. If we can remember that those we interact with are a son or daughter, grandchild, brother, sister, friend, child of God, etc., what a difference it will make in our own lives and a blessing to those around us. We cannot dehumanize an individual that we choose to SEE! When we truly look at another’s point of view and learn their story, we cannot help but love them. We do not have to agree with them to do this.

To effectively serve others we must see them…through Heavenly Father’s eyes. Only then can we comprehend the true worth of a soul.
Elder Dale G. Renlund

Challenge

Stop and ask yourself these questions when you are finding yourself dehumanizing someone else.

What is their story? Why do they believe the way they do? Can I learn something from this person or experience? Can I find something in common with this person?

Permission to Love

Thought Change Challenge #2: Push Past Your Fears

Posted on January 15, 2021 by aliciaqb

One of my favorite places to visit is the San Juan Islands of the Pacific Northwest. One visit we were canoeing at a Lake in Moran State Park (if you’re into that kind of thing I highly recommend you visit). I was with my family, and saw this amazing log bridge ahead that kids were jumping from. I felt really excited to try it.

In my head I was thinking, “If I don’t try this now, I may never get the chance to jump from that bridge again. I climbed up to that bridge from the water and discovered that what looked like not a big deal, was quite frightening for someone who is afraid of heights, like me.

My kids were watching and all the kids on the bridge were really encouraging. I was totally seized with fear!

I hesitated, and the longer I waited, the more my mind was saying, “There is no way I’m doing this!”

The kids on the bridge were trying so hard to help me as they challenged me to jump in with them on the count of 3. At least 4 sets of helpful kids jumped at the count of 3 to encourage me, and I didn’t follow. My fear was getting worse.

Finally, a cute 5-year-old made me promise if he jumped in with me this time that I would really jump. I knew I couldn’t break a promise to a 5-year-old, so as he counted to 3, I abandoned all of my fear and finally jumped in!

It was scary, my knees were shaking, but it was really fun! I was proud of myself for conquering my fear and my kid’s faces were beaming! It felt good!

I love this situation because it has so many lessons to learn from. I’ll just admit it, I feel fear all of the time! My mom never let me get away with not doing something because I was afraid, but I have never gotten over the fear of trying new things or going ahead with my desires and dreams. The word “Dreamer” has just barely been allowed into my vocabulary describing who I am and who I want to be.

I have been asked by God to face a lot of my fears lately, and I really don’t like that feeling! Who does? But I really want to grow in so many ways! God knows that I need to grow in those ways too, and He is helping me.

I read this definition of fear that perfectly describes what I’m feeling.

_{Fear: Running away from or avoiding an uncomfortable feeling that comes from the belief that something is going to cause suffering.}

Now, back to the story… I really wanted to try something. I was excited to try something. That something was really scary when I thought about it too much. I hesitated. That moment of hesitation made my fears get bigger and bigger. I almost didn’t do it, but a little friend urged me on and even was willing to go the distance with me. It felt so good to accomplish that thing!

What are your dreams? What have you wanted to accomplish but are not doing because of fear?
Start steps to doing it NOW! Hesitation causes more fear and doubt.
Surround yourself with people who know what your dream is and will support and cheer you on. God is your biggest ally!
Be prepared to feel really happy once you have started your dream!

Facing fears is not easy. We will feel fear as we get closer to the boundaries of our comfort zone. But we will get stronger! Our comfort zone boundaries will expand, and we will comfortably be able to do more things. If we do not push past our comfort zone it will get smaller and we will be more afraid. It sounds hard either way, but one way is so much more rewarding than the other.

You are amazing! You have so much to contribute to this world! You have so many people cheering for you and needing what you have to offer! Push past those fears and do those things you’ve always wanted to do!