Author: jenqw

Posted in Herbs/Lifestyle

Peppermint

Posted on by jenqw

Mentha piperita

Photo by Photo By: Kaboompics.com on Pexels.com

I LOVE peppermint. I use it for nearly every tea I make. Not only does it have many great properties, it also tastes so refreshing. Peppermint is very easy to grow. Some find it invasive. I actually put it in places that I don’t mind it taking over a bit. It’s fragrance alone makes it worth growing.

Let’s start with how to identify peppermint. Peppermint grows from 1-3 feet tall. Peppermint has opposite leaves and a square stem. The leaves have course margins, and a pointed tip. In mid to late summer purple flowers bloom. It’s easy to identify by it’s smell.

Peppermint has a warming, stimulating action. One of my favorite uses for peppermint is to calm an upset stomach, nausea. I have a daughter that gets a stomach bug several times a year. I will add water and fresh leaves to a blender, strain, and add crushed ice. If you can’t get fresh leaves, it works just as well as a warm tea (or add ice if it’s better tolerated). It’s also great to relieve congestion in the lungs. As previously mentioned, I add it to nearly EVERY blend. Not only does it make the blends taste good, it’s also a good catalyst herb.

It’s very easy to grow and harvest peppermint. It will grow by runners and self-seeding. If you’d like to keep it contained, plant it in a large patio pot. Harvest in the morning for the best essential oil content. Using a knife or scissors, cut the stem several inches and below a set of leaves. The young upper leaves are the most flavorful.. You can harvest multiple times in the season.

Posted in Herbs/Lifestyle

Homeade Vegetable Bouillon

Posted on by jenqw

My sister introduced me to homeade bouillon several years ago. It tastes so much better than store-bought. You’ll need a really good blender and small kitchen scale. You can freeze and use it straight from the freezer. I prefer to freeze dry it, but it’s great either way.

Photo by Monstera Production on Pexels.com

Ingredients

5 oz. leeks, sliced and well-washed

7 oz. fennel bulb, chopped

7 oz. carrot, well scrubbed and chopped

3.5 oz. celery

3.5 oz. celery root (I have only found this once so I use more celery)

1 oz. sun-dried tomatoes

3.5 oz. shallots, peeled

3 med. garlic cloves

9 oz. fine grain sea salt or Redmonds salt

1.5 oz. flat-leaf parsley, loosely chopped

2 oz. cilantro, loosely chopped

Steps

  1. Place the leeks, fennel, carrot and celery in blender, pulse until fine. Place the celery root, tomatoes, shallots and garlic in blender and pulse again. Add the salt to the blender and pulse. Add the parsley and cilantro into the blender. Push under other food and pulse with blender until all ingredients are combined.
  2. You should now have a moist, loose mixture. Place in freezer and use as needed.
  3. Use 1 tsp of bouillon per 1 cup. Adjust according to taste preference.
Posted in Permission to Love

Why Connection?

Posted on by jenqw
Photo by Oleksandr Pidvalnyi on Pexels.com

…Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

Matthew 22:37-39

I have always been fascinated with World War II, especially Holocaust victims and survivors. I’ve recently been watching videos of survivors telling their stories. I’ve always wondered how so many in the countries involved could either be blind to what was going on or didn’t do anything about it “just in case” or out of fear for themselves and their families. The other side of that are those that were deliberate contributors to either the help and protection of the vulnerable or to the harm and destruction of the same. What makes people do what they do?

We are living at a time when there is a great spiritual war going on. I personally am seeing many who are trying to be a force for good and also many that are working on the side of evil. It seems there are even more that are somewhere in between both end of the spectrum.

In the prison camps during World War II, the men, women and children were dehumanized. Their clothes and belongings were taken from them, they were shaved, fed just enough to barely keep them alive, and in the worst of the camps, beaten, raped, experimented on etc. Many were led into gas chambers where their lives were taken. Inside and outside of the camps they were given labels such as a yellow star (Jews) , a purple triangle (Jehovah’s Witness), pink triangle (homosexuals), and the list goes on. These symbols isolated people and identified them. Isn’t this the same type of thing we are doing today. No, we are not being placed in prison camps and we are not wearing a physical sign. However, the labels of separation are all there. LGBT, Christian, Leftist, Trumpist, black, white, the list goes on. Sexual preference, political party, religion, and other labels do not determine our identity. The labels may describe certain things about us but not really who we are. Instead they are used to pit people against each other, discriminate, harm. For instance, the trans label has given people justification to chemically and physically mutilate children. It has also allows for men to compete in women’s sports and justify drag shows for children. Separating by race often means that jobs and other opportunities are not given by merit. The more that we place labels and separate people accordingly, the more we lose the ability to see the individual. It is a way to dehumanize. It’s easier to judge an entire group as bad or good when in reality you can see both in any “good group” or any “bad group”.

A personal connection is a genuine bond formed between two people wherein each person feels seen, heard and known. Whether or not we’re able to acknowledge it, each of us carries an innate need to connect to others

So what does all of this have to do with connection? It is my belief that connection is the key to overcoming many of the problems that this world faces at this time. If the first two commandments, which are connection commandments, are followed, all the other commandments will fall into place. Connection between God, and others. If we can see each of our fellow humans as children of a Heavenly Father that loves us all, how can we do harm? We can start with our family and friends. Often these close relationships are great for practicing connection because we are more likely to vocalize when we are frustrated or unhappy with them. What if when a family member makes a choice we don’t agree with we seek to understand them? Ask why they are choosing this way? Listen more than talk? Allow for their choice and have our choice be to love. Several years ago I had a child make a moral decision that I did not agree with. Every time this choice would come up I would express that I loved them, knew they had to make their own choices and that it was a choice I didn’t agree with. Later this child was interviewed and asked what they felt their parents did right and wrong in dealing with this choice. What was said surprised me. They did not appreciate my reiterating that I didn’t agree with the choice. It was something that was taught their whole life and they already knew I didn’t like it. I learned that day that I didn’t need to “make sure” my opinion was known. I just need to let my loved ones know that I really do love them.

How do we connect with those around us that we cross paths with but will never have a relationship with? It comes down to the Arbinger Institute principle of “seeing people as people” or to take it even further, recognize that everyone we interact with is a child of God. When someone cuts us off on the freeway maybe we can choose to give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they just didn’t see us or they have an emergency. What about the mother in the checkout line with the crying child? Could we offer a smile or a comforting word? Could we look around us and see anyone that might need to talk or needs help with something we are able to do? Where can we offer encouragement? Understanding? Sometimes it seems that what I have to offer is insignificant. The more I think about it, anything that we can do that will bring good into the world is worth doing.

Posted in Permission to Love

Seeking Truth During General Conference

Posted on by jenqw

Ask, and it shall be given unto you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened.

3 Nephi 14:7-8

This past week, our Come Follow Me study is in D&C 109. It is an amazing section of scripture. I was having conversations with my mom and sister about the section. I found it interesting that each of us had such individual insights from our reading. My mom focused on the Gathering of Israel. My sister expressed how it said that those following Christ would be protected in the Last Days. My thoughts went to the power we have, through God, to oppose the adversary.

How is it that the three of us, all studying the same section, were drawn to different verses with different emphasis? All of us have been reading and studying about the Last Days. We have had many conversations together. As I spent time thinking on this, I realized that while we were studying the same things, we were asking different questions and seeking different things. My mom has been doing a lot of geneology which has put her heart and mind toward the Gathering of Israel. My sister has been seeking comfort and knowledge that there is protection in the Last Days to those who are aware of what is going on and preparing emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I have been searching for scriptures that show me that we can draw on God’s power, priesthood power, for personal revelation which leads to finding truth and protection.

What we seek is what we will find. This truth is found in every book of scripture.

Last General Conference, I wasn’t in the best place spiritually. I wasn’t really doing anything wrong but I also wasn’t building my spiritual reservoir. I didn’t get much out of the conference sessions. I actually felt a bit of resentment as I listened to many of the talks. Any mention of certain topics angered me. That was so weird because I’ve never felt like that before. More recently, as I’ve read and listened to the talks again, I’ve found that there was much truth to be gained from the messages. I had once again done the work needed to receive personal revelation.

…It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me

Alma 32:28

If you are seeking answers to questions, my advice would be to pray that you might find the insight you seek as you watch General Conference. Write down the questions beforehand. Watch with the intent that you WILL be answered. I have done this very thing when watching conference, attending sacrament meeting, reading scriptures, and praying. Heavenly Father has ALWAYS given me help. It may not be exactly what I expected but it’s what I’ve needed. He desires for us to come to Him for comfort, help, strength. He wants us to hear Him. I challenge you to seek for His guidance in your life. His answers bring peace, comfort and joy.

Posted in Permission to Love

Truth, Light, and Love (part one)

Posted on by jenqw

What is truth? One definition: the quality of being in accordance with experience, facts, or reality; conformity with fact.

I hear often, “this is MY truth,” or, “that is YOUR truth.” However, eternal truths cannot be disputed. They just are. When we allow ourselves to entertain falsehoods or speak lies to others, it chips away at our foundation and brings uncertainty and confusion. For example, there are those out there now that are female and say they identify as male or males that say they identify as female. Many in politics, media, and now the general population tell us that we must call a person by their preferred pronouns and allow them to participate as the gender they say they are. When a person calls out the lie they are called all kinds of names and humiliated publicly. You cannot dispute the truth in this matter. No surgery, hormones, etc. will change the fact that a biological male or female is determined when they are born. It is wrong to force these lies on young people who are not fully developed and still growing physically, emotionally and spiritually, and yet many are. If a 40 year old man says he identifies as a 17 year old and has sex with a minor is he now legally treated as a minor just because he said it? It sounds illogical and it is, yet a biological man is competing in the Olympics as a female weightlifter. Many biological males are competing as females in track and taking scholarships from women. Some prisons are allowing for a person to be in the prison population according to the gender they identify as. Can you imagine a rapist saying they identify as the opposite sex and what harm that could do?

There are a dozen views about everything until you know the answer. Then there’s never more than one.

C.S. Lewis

When I was a teenager, I became fascinated with World War 2 and the circumstances surrounding it. One part that I just couldn’t wrap my head around was how people could not see what was really happening around them and how they believed the propaganda they were being fed. I understood a bit more as I watched the movie, “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas.” One young boy is in a concentration camp and another lives outside the fence not far from the camp. The one outside sees film that depicts the camps as a wonderful family place with an area to play and eat, families happy and together. He befriends the boy inside the camp and although he is right outside the camp, he cannot see what is really going on. I won’t share the ending but it’s worth watching. I still didn’t understand how the propaganda was so far reaching until this past year or so with Covid-19, the masks, and the “shot”. Is there a real virus? Yes. Have deaths occurred? Yes. Is there a “shot?” Yes. Just about anything beyond those questions cannot be answered truthfully no matter what side you believe. Why? Because only one point of view is allowed.

I’m going to share an experience to illustrate what I mean by this. Quite few years ago, it looked as if one of my children had an autoimmune disorder, celiac disease. Modern medicine left little options except to not eat gluten. I decided I wanted to see if I could find more out there and decided to study herbology. My sister is a Master Herbalist and has helped her family out of many a health crisis. I learned that herbal preparations are just as powerful and often more effective than drugs. That most drugs are made from plant constituents. When done right, herbal preparations are very safe. Different parts of the same plant balance the other parts out which means very few side effects. The active ingredients in a drug are often highly concentrated and while effective, can also have many side effects. Herbology came before Pharmacology and only lost it’s favor because Pharma makes more money. Herbology aids the bodies immune response while Pharmacology does not. You can see I am biased to Herbology. However, I believe that Pharmacology is beneficial to many and at times the better option. My point in sharing this is that I have the benefit of seeing both sides of treating a condition. I have learned that if something is going on in my own body or a family members, I can look up many methods of treatment and choose what will work best for my family. If I hadn’t looked for other options, I wouldn’t know there was a choice.

Now fast forward to C-19. Any attempt to share an alternative to masks, “shots”, treatments, etc. is suppressed. It is claimed as false information. There are many who do not want to be forced into getting the “shot”. You may say that there is no force and yet many colleges and universities are requiring it. The virus and the drug have been incentivized. Logic and reason are not a part of the conversation. For instance, no one that had the virus needs or should get the “shot” but we cannot talk about that. Children have very little risk of the virus but we don’t know the risk of the “shot” since it is experimental and drug companies have no liability. There are several successful therapies out there that include drugs that have been safely used for many years, vitamins, herbs, etc. but we cannot talk about those without being called idiots. Do you ever ask yourself why? Anyone with an opposing view on masks was shut down although the information on why they don’t work has been out there for many, many years. The “science” didn’t change but the narrative did. THIS is how propaganda works. Fear, manipulation, force, are used to only allow one point of view to be expressed. Every time an opposing view is stated it’s easy to just say, “follow the science,” even if it’s not being followed. Or, “don’t you want to stop people from dying?” even though we are not God and do not have power over life and death. Do they show you what the “cure” is doing to people? No. Do they show that in MANY instances the “cure” isn’t even working? Nope.

This is just one aspect of what’s going on in our culture right now. Remember the riots that were called, “peaceful protests?” Those “peaceful protests” ruined peoples livelihoods without repercussion. Remember when a drug addict and criminal had a statue made in his honor while many true heroes statues were torn down? Or when police were defunded, spit on, called horrible names and even killed without hardly a word? Have you seen the CRT that wants white children to be shamed because they are automatically racist because of their skin color? What about cancelling products, changing mascots and names of schools, changing history because it is messy? All of these things are happening because, for many people, they are not seeing the truth.

What we need to find is TRUTH! Every human individual has the ability, if they choose, to receive the gift of discernment AND personal revelation. We can study out all sides of any given idea and pray to know what is right and true. We can seek truth in scriptures and a living prophet. Truth comes from God and is not subjective. Picture yourself in a room. In the middle of the room is a box. If the room was totally dark and there was a light in the box, any crack in the box would reveal the light. Your eyes would automatically be drawn to that light because light penetrates darkness. Let’s now say the room is filled with light. The box is dark inside (no light this time) but even opening the box would not bring darkness into the room. There may be a shadow but you will not be drawn to it. Truth and light will penetrate lies and darkness. Shine the light of truth!

But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.

John 3:21
Posted in Permission to Love

See People As People

Posted on by jenqw

Several years ago I took a course from The Arbinger Institute. You may be familiar with some of their books, Leadership and Self-Deception, Bonds That Make Us Free, The Anatomy of Peace, etc. One important concept that really stuck with me is to see people as people. On the surface this seems very simple, but in truth, it can be difficult. For instance, if you’ve ever been cut off on the freeway, what might go through your mind? That jerk! Why can’t people pay attention? What were they thinking? They almost killed me! What about when you are in line at the grocery store and the person in front of you is taking their time, talking to the clerk, is having difficulty counting their money? Are you thinking, I’m in a hurry! Can’t they have that ready before hand? Why does this take so long? If those types of thoughts are going through your head and maybe even spilling out of your mouth, you are not seeing a person as a person. Instead, they are an object or de-humanized in your mind. To bring them back as a person, you have to change what you are thinking when unexpected things happen. Maybe that person who cut you off has an emergency. Maybe they are a newer driver or an older one. It’s possible they just didn’t see you. Possibly the person in line is lonely and needs to talk. They might be older and having some difficulty.

We are part of a great war between good and evil that began even before we came to this earth. At this time, the adversary is showing himself in all of his evil glory. When this adversary can convince us that God-given characteristics, differences, agency, constitutional rights, etc. mean nothing, he has us. Dehumanization has become so much more common and more noticeable in recent history. All you have to do is read the comments in social media feeds and you can see many examples of this. People tend to say exactly what is on their mind because they feel somewhat anonymous and often what is on their mind isn’t kind. They cannot see that their is a human being at the other end of their comments. We have fact-checkers and cancelling that shut off the point of view of a large number of people. Cyber bullying is rampant. Masking and social distancing have stifled human contact and connection. There are also many terms or actions that are extremely dehumanizing. Some that I will share were not meant to do this, but have become so commonplace that we tend to no longer have feelings toward them or they have been used so incorrectly that they have lost meaning. Here are several: human/sex trafficking, pornography, non-gender specific, abortion, liberals, conservatives, white privilege, racist, cancel culture, common good, and many more. Behind each phrase, action, word, is a wonderful human being. Characteristics such as race, gender, differences of thought and opinion were not meant to be cancelled from our collective culture but to be celebrated and used to gain understanding.

Have you ever had the experience of talking with a complete stranger, and after several minutes you find that you have at least one thing in common with them? Often it is someone that on the surface, you would not expect this to be the case. Many times I have learned that a stranger and I have a mutual friend, similar dreams and fears, or even a hobby in common. This is the power of love and connection – no matter who we are, where we come from, our background, religion, etc. we can find something to love about any other human being. Each person is something to someone. At the very least, we have a Father in Heaven that loves us. If we can remember that those we interact with are a son or daughter, grandchild, brother, sister, friend, child of God, etc., what a difference it will make in our own lives and a blessing to those around us. We cannot dehumanize an individual that we choose to SEE! When we truly look at another’s point of view and learn their story, we cannot help but love them. We do not have to agree with them to do this.

To effectively serve others we must see them…through Heavenly Father’s eyes. Only then can we comprehend the true worth of a soul.

Elder Dale G. Renlund

Challenge

Stop and ask yourself these questions when you are finding yourself dehumanizing someone else.

What is their story? Why do they believe the way they do? Can I learn something from this person or experience? Can I find something in common with this person?

Posted in Permission to Love

Learning, Growth, and Opportunity

Posted on by jenqw

Last night I found myself crying. I cried over time lost. Opportunity lost. I cried over what I saw as failure. I ranted. I prayed asking a specific question. I cried again. I felt hopeless. I prayed again. I went to sleep. This morning I woke up to a feeling of hope and a thought came to my mind. I was reminded of a very difficult time in my life. It happened close to 6 years ago. 4 out of 8 members of my family were in crisis mode. I could see no future for a couple of them. I felt like I was walking through my life numb and hopeless. I didn’t want to feel too much because feeling hurt. One day I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I understood what it meant to have a broken heart. Mine was, and it hurt to breathe. I dropped down to my knees and asked the only thing I could think of asking, “is it all going to turn out ok?” I immediately felt a warm sense of peace come over me. I knew that it would be ok. I didn’t know when, but I knew it would. This defining moment in my life started me on a path of healing and learning. Like other times in my life, I was reminded that the greatest growth comes when we are so broken, so hurt, that we are willing to turn it all over to that Great Father in Heaven who has the power to do all things. Our loving Savior atoned for our sins, weakness, pain… All of it. Through this miracle, we have the opportunity to progress. As with all good things, the transformation for myself and the others in my home took time. It’s ongoing still. We are never “done” progressing. As I understand it, Hell is a condition. It happens when our progress is stopped.

So what did I learn? So much. I’ll share a small portion here. I learned that while it looked as if my family members were completely blowing it, they weren’t. They were being given a learning opportunity. Wow, doesn’t that sound more hopeful than a mistake, or they are messing up royally? When I can look at myself and others with the thought, “they are having a learning opportunity,” I can begin to see myself and those around me as God sees us. A visual comes to my mind of my child as a baby just learning to walk. I remember having my husband on one end of the room letting go of our child and I on the other encouraging that baby to walk to me. My arms are extended with a huge smile on my face. That baby starts forward and is wobbly, sometimes she falls. I can see myself telling her she can do it and helping her back up. As she gets closer, I lean in to help her as she wobbles into my arms. The excitement and joy of that moment are on all of our faces. Do we berate that child when she falls? Of course not. Do we say things like, “why can’t you figure this out already? Are you ever going to walk? Other kids pick this up faster than you?” No, that’s ridiculous. But we are that child learning to walk. All of us on this journey in life are that child. We have loving Heavenly Parents who are encouraging us to “get back up and try again.” They rejoice when we make progress. Progress is often slow. Do we notice that progress in ourselves and others? Do we rejoice when even just a little is made? We all know when we aren’t quite living up to our best selves. I no longer point out the mistakes of those around me. Instead, I ask them, “did you learn something from this experience?” “Good, that means it was worth it!”

We are in the season of celebrating the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Let us take this amazing opportunity to start seeing ourselves and others as God sees us. Let us recognize that every thing we experience is a learning opportunity. Let us feel the joy, hope, and love that are ours if we choose. LET”S CHOOSE LIGHT!!!

…I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.

John 8:12

Posted in Permission to Love

Is it Right? Is it Good? Does it Make Sense?

Posted on by jenqw

Do you ever do something because that’s what everyone is doing? That’s how you were taught to do it? You’ve always done it that way?

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Albert Einstein

Early this morning I had a strange dream. When I woke from it, I felt I needed to share it and my insights in a blog post. I could have gone with a current events theme but I decided that a parenting/mentoring theme would work better for our blog.

In my dream, there was a large get together at what appeared to be my parents home. Everyone was laughing and having a great time together. I was slowly being made aware of a game that was being played. I wanted to join in and learned that we were to go outside and sit in the woods. The longer the game players were out there, the more points were received. As I walked outside, I heard people yelling out numbers in increments of 4’s. 32, 4, 16, 40… As I approached, I asked why increments of 4? No one knew, someone just started counting that way and they all followed. I noticed that everyone was spaced out several feet and asked why. Once again, no one really knew why, they just started doing it that way. As I looked for somewhere to sit, I saw that there wasn’t a comfortable place on the ground. I sat down and realized how cold it was and that it was getting dark. I asked why no one had a chair or blanket to sit on. Some didn’t know, some said it wasn’t too bad, others said it was a rule of the game. When does the game end? What do you get if you get the most points? Apparently, the game ended when someone told them to stop. No one knew what the prize was but they were sure it was something good. I decided I didn’t want to be a part of this game. It wasn’t fun. I was cold and uncomfortable. Would the prize even be worth it? The questions came to me: Is it right? Is it good? Does it make sense? I headed back to the house to be a part of the enjoyment going on inside. On entering, I immediately noticed how warm it was. I saw a white doorknob that when I tried, found it locked. I jiggled and tugged repeatedly to no avail. How was I to get in the room where I could hear everyone enjoying themselves? I finally knocked and asked to be let in. Immediately, the door opened. I found everyone inside smiling, talking, laughing, enjoying… It was easy to see that there was no need for points. Everyone in the room won by just being there. Arbitrary rules were not needed.

What does this have to do with anything? In our lives, we are asked to do many things and take on many different roles. How often do we do those things without any real thought or questions? Should we question?

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

Matthew 7:7

Of course we should question. Our Heavenly Father wants us to question. We will not find answers if we don’t first start with a question. We can’t learn to hear God’s voice unless we wonder what He sounds like or what He might say to us.

I am the mom of 6 children. Well into my parenting journey, I could see that things were not going like I had planned. I was parenting all of my children the exact same way. It was the way I was parented. It worked for my parents so it should work for me. Right?f Well it didn’t. My children are VERY individual. I read many parenting books and tried all sorts of different things. It wasn’t until I was desperate and actually asked in prayer what I should do that life got better in my home. I started noticing that while one child liked to talk everything out, another would only talk on her terms. One child did well with consequences while the other was very impulsive and consequences would most always lead to failure. For the child with impulsivity, every little improvement that was noticed and praised worked best.

When my oldest child was young, she had difficulty getting chores done. I thought she just didn’t want to do them. I would get angry and would nag and push her to finish. She was often in tears and things never got done unless I did it myself. One day I decided to try something different. First, I noticed that she was overwhelmed and didn’t know where to start. Second, she didn’t like to be alone. My thought was to turn it into a game. I would tell her to pick up all the clothes in the room. She’d do it and ask what was next. Books. Next. Stuffed animals. Soon the room was clean and both of us were happy. Questioning and seeking for a better way changed both of us.

Take the time to look at your life and the things going on in it. Ask questions. Is it right? Is it good? Does it make sense? Maybe some additional questions. Am I feeling joy? Are my relationships loving? Can I see one place to make a change right now?

Challenge

*Look for something in your life that isn’t going well. Maybe something that seems to be a pattern.

*What question could you ask to make a change? Write the question down in your journal. Pray for an answer to that specific question.

Posted in Permission to Love

The Hand of God in My Life

Posted on by jenqw

A few of years ago I did something that changed my life dramatically. I purposefully searched for joy or the hand of God in my life, daily. I also wrote what I found in my journal. When I began this challenge, I was seeking for joy in my life. What did joy look like? How did joy feel? I really had no idea but I had hope that I could find out.

Adam fell that men might be: and men are, that they might have joy.

2 Nephi 2:25

At first, I really had to search for the hand of God each day. It was simple things like a bird singing or the smile from a friend or family member. But as the days and months passed, and I was consistent with my search, I could see His hand in every detail of my daily life. I began to hear His voice. I was feeling joy, and how wonderful that felt!

I could see His hand in every detail of my daily life

I recognized that even in the challenges and heartaches of life, He was blessing me and mentoring me through those difficulties. Each challenge was actually growing me. Each heartache was helping me hear His voice a bit clearer. Not only was His hand in the challenges but He was also orchestrating miracles and tender mercies. I saw my family and friends differently. They are also loved and cherished by a wonderful Father in Heaven. My heart and mind were expanded to see that I had SO many who loved and cared for me on both sides of the veil. I have a Heavenly Mother, a Savior who is also my beloved brother – Jesus Christ. A literal army of angels who fight for me and with me against our common enemy.

My next question was, “were the blessings there are along but I couldn’t always see them or were the blessings magnified because I noticed them?” I think the latter. He was always blessing me but the more grateful I was for His blessings, the more blessings he poured down upon me.

Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.

Malachi 3:10

Tithing is a form of gratitude. This scripture illustrates a truth about our Father in Heaven. While He gives us everything, He asks only a small portion. When we give that small portion, He pours out His blessings to us. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father and for His hand in my life.

Challenge:

  • Begin noticing the Hand of God or something joyful, purposefully, every day.
  • Write down what you noticed and any impressions that go along with it.
Posted in Permission to Love

Do You Parent from Love or Fear?

Posted on by jenqw

Many years ago, I was presented with an idea that was new to me and one I’ve spent a great deal of time pondering. The idea, or concept is that there are only two main emotions – love and fear. All other emotions fall under these two.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casteth out fear because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

1 John 4:18

What does this have to do with parenting? Parenting from a place of love will always be more powerful than from a place of fear and has a long lasting effect which fear does not. Several years ago, one of my children was making some choices that I could see were leading her down a path of pain. One night, this child did not come home. I was overcome with a strong sense of dread and fear. I tried to call her and the friend that she was supposed to be spending time with. I didn’t get an answer from either. I drove over our mountain pass to knock on her friend’s door in the middle of the night to try and find her. I was frantic and did not find her. As this pattern of behavior continued with my child, my behavior became more and more fearful. I tried punishment, manipulation and nagging to no avail. Nothing I did was helping her behavior. Things got worse on her end and my heart was breaking. One day I felt so broken and overwhelmed with pain and fear. I literally fell to my knees and cried to my Heavenly Father. I asked Him, “will everything be ok eventually?” I immediately felt love and peace come over me. I knew that it was going to be just fine. It took some work but I began changing my own behavior – that’s all that I had the power to change, me. I stopped lecturing, checking up, and fearfully obsessing. I still cried a lot. I still felt sorrow, but not the heartbreaking kind. More of the I wish things could be different kind. I began sending her texts that had quotes or just to tell her she was amazing and that I loved her. I felt a huge change inside of me. I didn’t know until much later how much it had helped her and our relationship.

Nevertheless, the Nephites were inspired by a better cause, for they were not fighting for monarchy nor power but they were fighting for their homes and their liberties, their wives and their children, and their all, yea, for their rites of worship and their church.

Alma 43:45

The Lamanites fought only from a place of anger. They were ferocious and killed many Nephites. They fought with the power of man while the Nephites fought with the power of God. In the end, the Nephites had the greater cause and power behind them and they triumphed. The Nephites fought for what they loved. Love will ultimately win over fear, every time. I share that because sometimes we parent from fear because it can give us a quick result. As parents, let’s look past the quick result and look for the long game.

You may be thinking that your child doesn’t have a serious behavior or that they are young and you aren’t parenting from a place of fear. This may be true, but have you ever given in to a tantrum at the store? What is the fear there? Have you made your child change their clothes before school because you don’t want others to see them in that outfit. Have you resorted to manipulation, control or fear to get your child to do what you want them to? The sooner we can identify where we may be using fear in parenting, the sooner we can help our kids and ourselves.

CHALLENGE:

Pray to find where you are feeling and using fear in your parenting. Write down your findings.

Pray again to see where you can replace the fear with loving actions.