Category: Permission to Love

What is truth? One definition: the quality of being in accordance with experience, facts, or reality; conformity with fact.

I hear often, “this is MY truth,” or, “that is YOUR truth.” However, eternal truths cannot be disputed. They just are. When we allow ourselves to entertain falsehoods or speak lies to others, it chips away at our foundation and brings uncertainty and confusion. For example, there are those out there now that are female and say they identify as male or males that say they identify as female. Many in politics, media, and now the general population tell us that we must call a person by their preferred pronouns and allow them to participate as the gender they say they are. When a person calls out the lie they are called all kinds of names and humiliated publicly. You cannot dispute the truth in this matter. No surgery, hormones, etc. will change the fact that a biological male or female is determined when they are born. It is wrong to force these lies on young people who are not fully developed and still growing physically, emotionally and spiritually, and yet many are. If a 40 year old man says he identifies as a 17 year old and has sex with a minor is he now legally treated as a minor just because he said it? It sounds illogical and it is, yet a biological man is competing in the Olympics as a female weightlifter. Many biological males are competing as females in track and taking scholarships from women. Some prisons are allowing for a person to be in the prison population according to the gender they identify as. Can you imagine a rapist saying they identify as the opposite sex and what harm that could do?

There are a dozen views about everything until you know the answer. Then there’s never more than one.

C.S. Lewis

When I was a teenager, I became fascinated with World War 2 and the circumstances surrounding it. One part that I just couldn’t wrap my head around was how people could not see what was really happening around them and how they believed the propaganda they were being fed. I understood a bit more as I watched the movie, “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas.” One young boy is in a concentration camp and another lives outside the fence not far from the camp. The one outside sees film that depicts the camps as a wonderful family place with an area to play and eat, families happy and together. He befriends the boy inside the camp and although he is right outside the camp, he cannot see what is really going on. I won’t share the ending but it’s worth watching. I still didn’t understand how the propaganda was so far reaching until this past year or so with Covid-19, the masks, and the “shot”. Is there a real virus? Yes. Have deaths occurred? Yes. Is there a “shot?” Yes. Just about anything beyond those questions cannot be answered truthfully no matter what side you believe. Why? Because only one point of view is allowed.

I’m going to share an experience to illustrate what I mean by this. Quite few years ago, it looked as if one of my children had an autoimmune disorder, celiac disease. Modern medicine left little options except to not eat gluten. I decided I wanted to see if I could find more out there and decided to study herbology. My sister is a Master Herbalist and has helped her family out of many a health crisis. I learned that herbal preparations are just as powerful and often more effective than drugs. That most drugs are made from plant constituents. When done right, herbal preparations are very safe. Different parts of the same plant balance the other parts out which means very few side effects. The active ingredients in a drug are often highly concentrated and while effective, can also have many side effects. Herbology came before Pharmacology and only lost it’s favor because Pharma makes more money. Herbology aids the bodies immune response while Pharmacology does not. You can see I am biased to Herbology. However, I believe that Pharmacology is beneficial to many and at times the better option. My point in sharing this is that I have the benefit of seeing both sides of treating a condition. I have learned that if something is going on in my own body or a family members, I can look up many methods of treatment and choose what will work best for my family. If I hadn’t looked for other options, I wouldn’t know there was a choice.

Now fast forward to C-19. Any attempt to share an alternative to masks, “shots”, treatments, etc. is suppressed. It is claimed as false information. There are many who do not want to be forced into getting the “shot”. You may say that there is no force and yet many colleges and universities are requiring it. The virus and the drug have been incentivized. Logic and reason are not a part of the conversation. For instance, no one that had the virus needs or should get the “shot” but we cannot talk about that. Children have very little risk of the virus but we don’t know the risk of the “shot” since it is experimental and drug companies have no liability. There are several successful therapies out there that include drugs that have been safely used for many years, vitamins, herbs, etc. but we cannot talk about those without being called idiots. Do you ever ask yourself why? Anyone with an opposing view on masks was shut down although the information on why they don’t work has been out there for many, many years. The “science” didn’t change but the narrative did. THIS is how propaganda works. Fear, manipulation, force, are used to only allow one point of view to be expressed. Every time an opposing view is stated it’s easy to just say, “follow the science,” even if it’s not being followed. Or, “don’t you want to stop people from dying?” even though we are not God and do not have power over life and death. Do they show you what the “cure” is doing to people? No. Do they show that in MANY instances the “cure” isn’t even working? Nope.

This is just one aspect of what’s going on in our culture right now. Remember the riots that were called, “peaceful protests?” Those “peaceful protests” ruined peoples livelihoods without repercussion. Remember when a drug addict and criminal had a statue made in his honor while many true heroes statues were torn down? Or when police were defunded, spit on, called horrible names and even killed without hardly a word? Have you seen the CRT that wants white children to be shamed because they are automatically racist because of their skin color? What about cancelling products, changing mascots and names of schools, changing history because it is messy? All of these things are happening because, for many people, they are not seeing the truth.

What we need to find is TRUTH! Every human individual has the ability, if they choose, to receive the gift of discernment AND personal revelation. We can study out all sides of any given idea and pray to know what is right and true. We can seek truth in scriptures and a living prophet. Truth comes from God and is not subjective. Picture yourself in a room. In the middle of the room is a box. If the room was totally dark and there was a light in the box, any crack in the box would reveal the light. Your eyes would automatically be drawn to that light because light penetrates darkness. Let’s now say the room is filled with light. The box is dark inside (no light this time) but even opening the box would not bring darkness into the room. There may be a shadow but you will not be drawn to it. Truth and light will penetrate lies and darkness. Shine the light of truth!

But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.

John 3:21

I know that many of us deeply long to talk to our Heavenly Father. I long to know who He is and what He wants me to know. I long to feel His love and to become like Him. So often, when I start to study or read my scriptures, it doesn’t go the way I imagine and the way I desire. I often come to my sacred time distracted and unable to focus. It can be hard to transition your heart and mind from the cares and the desires of the world to a peaceful, quiet place of worship. Over much effort and practice, I have found that I can more easily make that transition without distraction by doing two things: Praying out loud and writing the thought and feelings that I want to communicate to God.

It all started with a class I took called Heaven Journaling and a challenge given by Sister Wendy Nelson in a Youth Worldwide devotional in 2016. Here’s her challenge:

Would you be willing to try an experiment for 30 days? Daily kneel and thank your Heavenly Father for the scriptures. Tell Him the one question you most need to have answered that day. Plead to have the Holy Ghost with you as you read. Then open your scriptures anywhere and read until you find the answer. Try it for 30 days and see what happens.

Wendy Nelson

Another Quote that inspired me at that same time was this:

Write down in a secure place the important things you learn from the Spirit. You will find that as you write down precious impressions, often more will come. Also, the knowledge you gain will be available throughout your life.” Elder Richard G. Scott

I have always been a journal writer, but instead of a rundown of the day, I started to write “Dear Father” letters.  I literally start writing a letter to thank Him, to tell Him what is going on, to tell Him what I am learning. Here I ask the tough questions and search for the answers. I write down scriptures that I have read that are the answers to my questions. I glue in pictures that inspire me of the Savior or quoted scripture. I write questions and if I haven’t found the answer I leave that section blank until I discover the answer. I have gone back and labeled the tops of the pages with titles like, “Re-read When You’re Afraid,” “What to do When You Need to Work on Your Relationship with Your Husband.” I am now starting to have a collection of journals that I consider to me my life manuals as I refer back to the answers God has given me and find myself needing those answers over and over again.

I find that so often God has been trying to speak to me all day, but I haven’t stopped and gathered all that he is saying into my heart and mind. This is a conversation that can last days. I speak to Him, He speaks to me. I don’t get distracted if I am writing. Then I know just what to pray about and what to ask. And I don’t get distracted if I pray out loud.

I don’t always pray and look for answers in this way. Sometimes just a simple prayer said in my heart and mind is needed and the writing process can be too cumbersome for the moment, but when I switch up the ways we are communicating with our Father, he can reach out to me in different ways.

This process has deepened my relationship with God. In this way, I have found that I can have a very real, living relationship with my Heavenly Father.

Further Reading:

Becoming the Person You Were Meant to Be  https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/broadcasts/article/worldwide-devotionals/2016/01/becoming-the-person-you-were-born-to-be?lang=eng

Write It Down https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/new-era/2016/05/write-it-down?lang=eng

Heavenly Journaling http://purposedrivenmotherhood.blogspot.com/p/heaven-journaling-30-day-program.html

One of my favorite places to visit is the San Juan Islands of the Pacific Northwest. One visit we were canoeing at a Lake in Moran State Park (if you’re into that kind of thing I highly recommend you visit). I was with my family, and saw this amazing log bridge ahead that kids were jumping from. I felt really excited to try it.

In my head I was thinking, “If I don’t try this now, I may never get the chance to jump from that bridge again. I climbed up to that bridge from the water and discovered that what looked like not a big deal, was quite frightening for someone who is afraid of heights, like me.

My kids were watching and all the kids on the bridge were really encouraging. I was totally seized with fear!

I hesitated, and the longer I waited, the more my mind was saying, “There is no way I’m doing this!”

The kids on the bridge were trying so hard to help me as they challenged me to jump in with them on the count of 3. At least 4 sets of helpful kids jumped at the count of 3 to encourage me, and I didn’t follow. My fear was getting worse.

Finally, a cute 5-year-old made me promise if he jumped in with me this time that I would really jump. I knew I couldn’t break a promise to a 5-year-old, so as he counted to 3, I abandoned all of my fear and finally jumped in!

It was scary, my knees were shaking, but it was really fun! I was proud of myself for conquering my fear and my kid’s faces were beaming! It felt good!

I love this situation because it has so many lessons to learn from. I’ll just admit it, I feel fear all of the time! My mom never let me get away with not doing something because I was afraid, but I have never gotten over the fear of trying new things or going ahead with my desires and dreams. The word “Dreamer” has just barely been allowed into my vocabulary describing who I am and who I want to be.

I have been asked by God to face a lot of my fears lately, and I really don’t like that feeling! Who does? But I really want to grow in so many ways! God knows that I need to grow in those ways too, and He is helping me. 

I read this definition of fear that perfectly describes what I’m feeling.

_{Fear: Running away from or avoiding an uncomfortable feeling that comes from the belief that something is going to cause suffering.}

Now, back to the story… I really wanted to try something. I was excited to try something. That something was really scary when I thought about it too much. I hesitated. That moment of hesitation made my fears get bigger and bigger. I almost didn’t do it, but a little friend urged me on and even was willing to go the distance with me. It felt so good to accomplish that thing!

1. What are your dreams? What have you wanted to accomplish but are not doing because of fear?
2. Start steps to doing it NOW! Hesitation causes more fear and doubt.
3. Surround yourself with people who know what your dream is and will support and cheer you on. God is your biggest ally!
4. Be prepared to feel really happy once you have started your dream!

Facing fears is not easy. We will feel fear as we get closer to the boundaries of our comfort zone. But we will get stronger! Our comfort zone boundaries will expand, and we will comfortably be able to do more things. If we do not push past our comfort zone it will get smaller and we will be more afraid. It sounds hard either way, but one way is so much more rewarding than the other.

You are amazing! You have so much to contribute to this world! You have so many people cheering for you and needing what you have to offer! Push past those fears and do those things you’ve always wanted to do!

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Suggested Reading

FEAR NOT, ONLY BELIEVE https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/new-era/2000/01/fear-not-only-believe?lang=eng

Your words are Powerful. The words of others are powerful. Everything you think, everything you believe, plants a seed and grows into an idea that will eventually affect how you do thing and how you see things in the future. Even from when you were a child, you do things now because of what you learned or thought clear back then.

Let’s think about your own self-talk? Do you say kind things to yourself? How would you react if someone said those same thing to one of your children? 

“You are not good enough!” 

“You are getting fatter and you’re getting more gray hairs. You shouldn’t have eaten that second piece of cake. You’re probably going to gain 5 pounds tomorrow!” 

“You were the worst parent! You’re probably going to ruin your child’s life!”

I’m pretty sure if we even heard someone talking to another person that way, we would think it was abusive and inappropriate. It’s almost laughable! Get my point? You shouldn’t be abusing yourself that way either.

Clint, you’re not a problem, I think you’re drummer.

Mr Jensen

As you are think about this video, think about the impact Mr Jensen’s words had on Clint Pulver’s life. They were so powerful!

Imagine if you were your own Mr Jensen and you told yourself things like,

“I am doing good things for the world.”

“I’m learning that so fast!”

“I love that about myself!”

“I am awesome!”

Would your world change? Would you be able to do more things without self- doubt and fear? Would you be able to be a Mr Jensen for everyone else around you?

My first challenge is to listen to your self-talk. Write down what you are hearing and then write down how you can change your messages to positive self-building messages. Dare to believe the opposite of your own negative self-talk.

There’s a difference between being the best in the world and being the best for the world!

Clint Pulver

I recently had an opportunity to visit Pompeii in Italy. As I walked down the stone paved streets, I couldn’t help but notice huge ruts in the roads. These ruts were gradually worn from years of wheels going down the same paths of countless vehicles, day after day. From my perspective, it didn’t look like a vehicle could choose a different path with how worn the path already was. It was easy to know and predict where flow of traffic went day after day.

As I was thinking about it, if those deep ruts in the roads of Pompeii were to be fixed, each worn stone would have to be replaced with a new stone. It would take effort and strength and purpose to lift the old stones out and replace them with a new stones. Just think how easy the way would be if that were to be done. Travelers could take a new paths and try new ways to go. 

Our minds work much the same way. In order to change old thought patterns, we must replace them with new thought patterns. These new thoughts make new paths that take us down better roads. Life is just easier. Most of us have gone down thought paths so often that deep ruts have formed in our mind’s pathways that we automatically go down whenever we fall into certain situations. We often want to change these pathways but we don’t know how.

A few of my personal ruts have looked like, anxiety when it’s my week to play the organ, a belief that I can’t write or speak well, thinking life would be easier if I had no responsibilities, tryingand worrying about what others think of me. These ruts have been such stumbling blocks for me, keeping me from accomplishing the things that I want to do and the things I want to change. I have been working very hard to get rid of the ruts in my life and to go to the place I want to be mentally and emotionally. I have worked hard to repave my thinking habits and in doing this I have found greater joy.

I challenge you to change your thoughts. It is going to take spiritual and emotional muscle, but I would like to invite you to join me over the course of my next few posts in learning how to take responsibility for your thoughts. I will share tools that will help change your thought patterns. Some of your challenges in life will disappear simply by thinking about life in a new way. You also will be able to feel greater joy and less stress. I can’t say that your circumstances will change, but I can say that you can change in your circumstances and life will be better all the way around!

Change your THOUGHTS and you change your WORLD…

Norman Vincent Peale