…Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.
Matthew 22:37-39
I have always been fascinated with World War II, especially Holocaust victims and survivors. I’ve recently been watching videos of survivors telling their stories. I’ve always wondered how so many in the countries involved could either be blind to what was going on or didn’t do anything about it “just in case” or out of fear for themselves and their families. The other side of that are those that were deliberate contributors to either the help and protection of the vulnerable or to the harm and destruction of the same. What makes people do what they do?
We are living at a time when there is a great spiritual war going on. I personally am seeing many who are trying to be a force for good and also many that are working on the side of evil. It seems there are even more that are somewhere in between both end of the spectrum.
In the prison camps during World War II, the men, women and children were dehumanized. Their clothes and belongings were taken from them, they were shaved, fed just enough to barely keep them alive, and in the worst of the camps, beaten, raped, experimented on etc. Many were led into gas chambers where their lives were taken. Inside and outside of the camps they were given labels such as a yellow star (Jews) , a purple triangle (Jehovah’s Witness), pink triangle (homosexuals), and the list goes on. These symbols isolated people and identified them. Isn’t this the same type of thing we are doing today. No, we are not being placed in prison camps and we are not wearing a physical sign. However, the labels of separation are all there. LGBT, Christian, Leftist, Trumpist, black, white, the list goes on. Sexual preference, political party, religion, and other labels do not determine our identity. The labels may describe certain things about us but not really who we are. Instead they are used to pit people against each other, discriminate, harm. For instance, the trans label has given people justification to chemically and physically mutilate children. It has also allows for men to compete in women’s sports and justify drag shows for children. Separating by race often means that jobs and other opportunities are not given by merit. The more that we place labels and separate people accordingly, the more we lose the ability to see the individual. It is a way to dehumanize. It’s easier to judge an entire group as bad or good when in reality you can see both in any “good group” or any “bad group”.
A personal connection is a genuine bond formed between two people wherein each person feels seen, heard and known. Whether or not we’re able to acknowledge it, each of us carries an innate need to connect to others
So what does all of this have to do with connection? It is my belief that connection is the key to overcoming many of the problems that this world faces at this time. If the first two commandments, which are connection commandments, are followed, all the other commandments will fall into place. Connection between God, and others. If we can see each of our fellow humans as children of a Heavenly Father that loves us all, how can we do harm? We can start with our family and friends. Often these close relationships are great for practicing connection because we are more likely to vocalize when we are frustrated or unhappy with them. What if when a family member makes a choice we don’t agree with we seek to understand them? Ask why they are choosing this way? Listen more than talk? Allow for their choice and have our choice be to love. Several years ago I had a child make a moral decision that I did not agree with. Every time this choice would come up I would express that I loved them, knew they had to make their own choices and that it was a choice I didn’t agree with. Later this child was interviewed and asked what they felt their parents did right and wrong in dealing with this choice. What was said surprised me. They did not appreciate my reiterating that I didn’t agree with the choice. It was something that was taught their whole life and they already knew I didn’t like it. I learned that day that I didn’t need to “make sure” my opinion was known. I just need to let my loved ones know that I really do love them.
How do we connect with those around us that we cross paths with but will never have a relationship with? It comes down to the Arbinger Institute principle of “seeing people as people” or to take it even further, recognize that everyone we interact with is a child of God. When someone cuts us off on the freeway maybe we can choose to give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they just didn’t see us or they have an emergency. What about the mother in the checkout line with the crying child? Could we offer a smile or a comforting word? Could we look around us and see anyone that might need to talk or needs help with something we are able to do? Where can we offer encouragement? Understanding? Sometimes it seems that what I have to offer is insignificant. The more I think about it, anything that we can do that will bring good into the world is worth doing.
Permission to Love 