See People As People

Several years ago I took a course from The Arbinger Institute. You may be familiar with some of their books, Leadership and Self-Deception, Bonds That Make Us Free, The Anatomy of Peace, etc. One important concept that really stuck with me is to see people as people. On the surface this seems very simple, but in truth, it can be difficult. For instance, if you’ve ever been cut off on the freeway, what might go through your mind? That jerk! Why can’t people pay attention? What were they thinking? They almost killed me! What about when you are in line at the grocery store and the person in front of you is taking their time, talking to the clerk, is having difficulty counting their money? Are you thinking, I’m in a hurry! Can’t they have that ready before hand? Why does this take so long? If those types of thoughts are going through your head and maybe even spilling out of your mouth, you are not seeing a person as a person. Instead, they are an object or de-humanized in your mind. To bring them back as a person, you have to change what you are thinking when unexpected things happen. Maybe that person who cut you off has an emergency. Maybe they are a newer driver or an older one. It’s possible they just didn’t see you. Possibly the person in line is lonely and needs to talk. They might be older and having some difficulty.

We are part of a great war between good and evil that began even before we came to this earth. At this time, the adversary is showing himself in all of his evil glory. When this adversary can convince us that God-given characteristics, differences, agency, constitutional rights, etc. mean nothing, he has us. Dehumanization has become so much more common and more noticeable in recent history. All you have to do is read the comments in social media feeds and you can see many examples of this. People tend to say exactly what is on their mind because they feel somewhat anonymous and often what is on their mind isn’t kind. They cannot see that their is a human being at the other end of their comments. We have fact-checkers and cancelling that shut off the point of view of a large number of people. Cyber bullying is rampant. Masking and social distancing have stifled human contact and connection. There are also many terms or actions that are extremely dehumanizing. Some that I will share were not meant to do this, but have become so commonplace that we tend to no longer have feelings toward them or they have been used so incorrectly that they have lost meaning. Here are several: human/sex trafficking, pornography, non-gender specific, abortion, liberals, conservatives, white privilege, racist, cancel culture, common good, and many more. Behind each phrase, action, word, is a wonderful human being. Characteristics such as race, gender, differences of thought and opinion were not meant to be cancelled from our collective culture but to be celebrated and used to gain understanding.

Have you ever had the experience of talking with a complete stranger, and after several minutes you find that you have at least one thing in common with them? Often it is someone that on the surface, you would not expect this to be the case. Many times I have learned that a stranger and I have a mutual friend, similar dreams and fears, or even a hobby in common. This is the power of love and connection – no matter who we are, where we come from, our background, religion, etc. we can find something to love about any other human being. Each person is something to someone. At the very least, we have a Father in Heaven that loves us. If we can remember that those we interact with are a son or daughter, grandchild, brother, sister, friend, child of God, etc., what a difference it will make in our own lives and a blessing to those around us. We cannot dehumanize an individual that we choose to SEE! When we truly look at another’s point of view and learn their story, we cannot help but love them. We do not have to agree with them to do this.

To effectively serve others we must see them…through Heavenly Father’s eyes. Only then can we comprehend the true worth of a soul.

Elder Dale G. Renlund

Challenge

Stop and ask yourself these questions when you are finding yourself dehumanizing someone else.

What is their story? Why do they believe the way they do? Can I learn something from this person or experience? Can I find something in common with this person?